


Remember the yesterday

by Kircheis



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Angst, Interpretation of ViTri's childhood, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 02:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2604479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kircheis/pseuds/Kircheis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The past cannot be changed, erasen or forgotten - It can be only accepted.<br/>But why it isn't so easy as it sounds...?  </p><p>(My own interpretation of ViTri's story of their childhood/past. Virus POV mostly. )</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Do you remember....your childhood, Virus?"  
 

I shifted my gaze from book and glanced at false blond next to me. Trip was gazing at ceiling, watching fly that was circling around lamp.  I just sighed and continued reading. But he didn't give up - looks like his mind didn't want to drop this subject so fast.

"I was wandering.... If we weren't there.... Maybe we wouldn't meet in this life."  
"That's possible."  
"Maybe we would live happy lives with our families, siblings...."  
Pause.

"Hey, Virus..."  
"Hm?"  
"..... You've never told me anything. About your life back then. I don't remember. But-....."

"I don't remember anything."  Quick, sharp answer. I put book away and took off glasses, rubbing my eyes. "And anyway I'm not obligated to give out a personal information to person, who has nothing to do with me."

Trip gave me a long glare. It wasn't angry nor hurt. Completely calm. Then he nodded.  
"Yeah. You're right." He shifted and took his things from floor. "Good night, Virus."  
"...Good night." I mumbled and turned my back on him. I heard click and doors closed. I was alone. I sighed and put blanket over my head and curled to ball.

_'Maybe we would live happy lives with our families.....'_

I closed my eyes.  
  
**********

  
Children around me were cheerfully chatting. All of them were wearing white shirts, blueish pants and collars - each of them had a number. How could I know? I was about to become a part of this huge mass.  
I glanced at woman beside me, who called herself 'my mother'.  
We were never close. Even though she was always smiling and pretending interest. After my father died, she became really distant, always locking herself in room or going out for long walks, leaving her child behind. I felt ... Alone. But eventually got used to it. After a while, it even felt RIGHT - I couldn't imagine discussion between me and her anymore. Even when we were sitting next to each other, we felt like two parts of different world. And even though I didn't want to admit it - It was crushing me down like rocks, falling down on me mercilessly.  
Of course, I've tried so hard to steal some of her attention - I was child after all. When I was seven and all of those sad things happened, I was always following her, hugging her - _"are you okay, mommy?"_ here; _"are you okay, mommy?"_ there. My childish mind believed that it will cure her and she will smile like on the other days. No - It just went down the hill..... On my 9th birthday, she just packed her things and left our house for a week.  It hurt and I was just hopeless child left behind to take care of myself - but luckily, she left the fridge full so I made it. After a week she came back more devastated than ever before - drunk, crying, dirty... - even looking at her was a psychically killing the child inside of me.  
And then, that day came. After so long, she smiled. But well - not at me. At her Coil. And from that day, she started to slowly regain her life energy and light in her eyes.  
At that moment I thought: "It's back. It will be okay." It was a gentle lie. My and her relationship died - and we are not in the PC game to revive a things that are broken, shattered and killed.  
Mom started to go out with quite nice and handsome man. He lived in district above Midorijima - in Platinum Jail. It was a luxurious part, where you couldn't go unless you had invitation. Of course, she's got one from him. And soon, with a blink of an eye, we were moving from here. And on my 11th birthday, a celebration and happiness came. No my birthday - that woman was pregnant. Her shining eyes, his big smile - " _Darling, look, we will be finally a real family!_ "  
...That was when I became an adult.

~~~  
He said, he was working in Toue's Company and all the time, he was absolutely fascinated by the man that gave him a work - even my mother became like that - they were worshipping him like some kind of god. I didn't care and I always got yelled at. And also when I refused to call that man a 'father'.

I became a mistake in their happy family life.  
And soon.... I was passing doors to the living room. I need to go to toillet but it was something after midnight so I tried to be silent. They were there, watching some kind of shitty soup opera.  
"Darling, I don't want to hurt your feelings but in my oppinion your son is.... Indocile. He refuses authority, he does whatever he wants. He doesn't care about us. Isn't it true? Look, I work in facility.... They are searching for children and-"  
 

I knew what was comming but I couldn't help it.  
And for the first time in forever, when I returned to my bedroom, I cried.  
Because I knew HER answer.  
  
"I will take him there tomorrow."  
  
 _Happy 12th Birthday._  
~~~

  
"Don't worry, you will find new friends, learn new things. It will be better for you, believe me." She crouched next to me and fixed my shirt and hair. I was just gazing down, not moving at all. "You are here to help a research! Remember that! It's important role and there are only few chosen. Me and your dad are very proud of you."  
 _  
Lies, lies, lies..._

"Hmmm...."  
"I gave your things to one of researchers, they said you are gonna get them after medical examinations and registration. Just don't forget to politely ask for them. Okay."  
She stood up and sighed. "We will visit you."  
 _  
....and more lies._

"Okay....mom." I felt a pat on my head and then... She was gone. Forever.  
The door behind me opened and an old looking person invated me inside. They checked me, made me a blood tests, look at my eyes and ears. I had to fill some psychotests even.  
"How old are you?"  
"12, sir." I said calmly.  
"Well, young man, you are pretty clever even thought you are only a little child. Results like this are pretty rare - and now I speak also about adults." Doctor showed me papers. "The only thing that bothers me... You didn't write down your name. I thought you forgot but other things from personal information section are filled." He looked at me interested. "Do you have name?"  
I looked away and nodded. Of course, I had.  
"What is it?"  
But...  
  
 _She gave it to me..._  
 _She wanted to get a rid of me...._  
 _She didn't want to have memoried with me....of me...  
_ _She just wanted to erase me._

....So i will erase it all - delete memories, feeling towards her - my whole past. Burn it down.... Same as...

"....Virus."  
  
 **To be continued....**


	2. Chapter 2

"Look, new one!"  
When I stepped to the dining-hall, all of the children gathered around me. Their curious faces didn't surprise me - we couldn't go out unless doctors and researches took us for walk. It was strictly prohibited and since children are easily scared by harsh words and threats of punishment, it meant two things:  
 _1) You couldn't run away._  
 _2) You happily waited for anything new and interesting to hap_ pen.  
Now that thing was me.

"How old are you?"  
".....12."  
"What's your name?"  
"Virus...."  
Simple questions, simple answers. I sat behind table with others and took my meal. I could expect that it was going to be something nutritious and good tasting- they wanted us healthy. You cannot use a sick and broken individual for tests - it would give you just the worst results. And that's unwanted. Unwanted were going to be put away. Sad truth to learn.

"Hey..... " I glanced at person next to me. Dark haired boy was smiling at me - he could be few years older - maybe 15? "You are new here, right?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I arrived today."  
"I see.... Are you from orphanage?" He asked me silently, still smiling. I stopped eating. Orphanage? No - I'm from happy family where only one problem was. **WAS.** Something painful squeezed my heart and I frowned.  
I didn't want to tell him. He asked that probably because he was from orphanage as other children here. They got here because they didn't have anyone, not because they were unneeded.  I nodded and smiled at him.

"Something like that."

"... Are you afraid?"

Huh? No _"nice to meet you, my name is...."_ ?

"No. I'm not."

"Usually, new ones are afraid. You don't have to be.  Researches are actually nice sometimes. Just don't anger them. Same goes with doctors." He smiled. "Okay, little one?"

I frowned. "I'm not little!"

He chuckled. "Of course not. Just teasing you. If you have a problem, you can ask me."

"....sure."

I was surprised, for the first time in long time - someone actually cared. And it was not pretending I so much hate. Believe me, I could recognize lies - I lived with them for 12 years. For the very little moment I believed that it's gonna be fine.

I  was so so naive.  
~~~

 "Number 0952!"

"Here."

I was sitting next to black haired guy I got to know the first day. I became a friend with him. He was older, intelligent and nice. Other children liked him too. Maybe some kind of 'big brother type'? I could easily describe him like that. I got to know other children thanks to him and in the end I didn't mind so much being a part of mass. It felt nice sometimes - almost family like. I could feel that children inside of me was slowly returning.  
Well. Just to fade away again.

I checked his collar. Really, his number? But what did they want from him? It was past examinations hour, so...  
I curiously looked at doctor.

"Can you accompany me for a while?" Researcher asked.

"Yes, sir, of course." He lifted from ground where we were sitting and smiled. "See you in the evening, Virus." He waved me and left with other man.

I frowned. I didn't like this at all. Why did they want to speak to him? Okay, maybe some problems appeared... Or he forgot something. Maybe....  
In the evening, when everyone was gathered in the dining-hall, he returned.

Pale, trembling, but... Smiling.  
He sat next to me and patted my head.

"Hey, Virus. How was your day?"  
"...I just made my homework." We had school here just like any other normal children. But that wasn't important.

He was hiding something. "What did they want from you?"

There was a silence.  
"...what would you do if someone told you that you are going to be the most important part of the future that is yet to come?"

My eyes widened and I shook my head.

"I... "

"That you are going to be the first. The one to lead?"

"I wouldn't believe."  
"Oh yes, you would, trust me. Everyone left alone wants to hear a words like that." he whispered. "From the bottom of your heart you want to be the one in the bright light of reflectors. Each one here. You would agree immediately to whatever they proposed to you. And then... After then you realize what a mistake you made. Too late. And usually there isn't a way back."

I paled and clutched my fists.

"Look after yourself, okay?" he patted my back.  
"...what?!" I shoot him shocked look.

"Don't let yourself to get hurt." He smiled at me. But... His eyes were cold. He was thinking about something else. Something dark. This wasn't the face I knew.  I wanted to ask him but I understand he wouldn't answer me any different.  I just nodded.

~~~

"He didn't make it."  
"Really? What has happened?"  
"He lost too much of blood. And the system crushed during operation. Doctors weren't able to revive him after."  
"So 0952 is out?"  
"Yes."

Do you know what is ironic? If you find out about things like these, the things that are changing your life always the same way. Secretly, just by a coincidence.

I lost another part of me.  
~~~

From that day, I tried to take his place. To look after others - same as I did when I was 7 with my mom. "Are you okay" here and there. But soon, I realized that these things hurt my self more and more.  
Children were disappearing one by one. The one I knew, the new ones.

**_"Don't let yourself to get hurt."_ **

His words resonated in my head.

_If you don't want to get hurt, you cannot think of others. It means, you can't have someone dear. Don't focuse on your emotions towards people next to you. Don't make a contact. No relationships -no painful feelings. Right?_

My mind was constantly telling me this and in the end, I came to conclusion that it was right.  
I made a bubble around myself. No one could go into my personal space.  
And really. When I had nothing to do with children in the facility, their deaths were not so important.

I became cold individual.

So nothing could hurt me and no one could force yourself into my personal space.  
  
At least that is what I was thinking.  
  


**To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virus meets Trip for the first time.

It was one of those usual days in Toue’s Laboratories.  
Right after blood tests, children gathered in dining hall to get breakfast. They were chattering but I didn't really listen to them - just caught something like 'Saturday', 'no school'... I didn't care for their childish talks that had nothing to do with real problems.

Days were quickly passing by. I was here for 1 year already....? More or less, I didn't really count it since the time wasn't my main focus. And birthday? I couldn't care less - it was here just to remind me I succeeded in keeping myself alive - for another year.  
' _Stay away from doctors, children and people in laboratories. It will make you survive. Don't care for them, don't mind them - you are going to make it through.'_ Simple rules I made for myself, repeating them every day in my head - every little moment in my life. _'Mind them only if the situation touches you.'  
_  I took another bite of bread and was about to stand up and leave, when I noticed something what actually caught my attention.  
Children usually spend time in here together - gathered in big groups, playing, chatting and eating together. No one was left out from their ridiculous "family". Oh well - no one new at least.  
But here he was. Redhead boy was sitting alone, at the end of bench. He didn't seem to touch his breakfast - he was just simply looking at children, the one of his hazel eyes which wasn't hidden behind the eyepatch cold but focused on his - targets? Just like some sort of predator right before catching his prey.  
I knew him.  
It was strange for me to remember someone, or someone to catch my slightest attention - but this person was one hard to forget - of course, to an extent. Maybe because it somehow concerned even myself.  
 I couldn't recall his name nor his age nor how long he was here. But I remembered how one of nurses gently bid him to introduce himself and he didn't say a word, looking at the mass of kids in front of him just like he was looking at them now. In the end, she probably introduced him but in the time of it, I left the hall almost unnoticed - and those who saw me didn't really care or were afraid of me. Rumors were the strongest magic in the life of an outsider. Anyway, I thought that this kid will disappear in the children mass in no time.  
  
_Wrong._  
  
Sometime later there were first problems. Not only they couldn't make him speak - he refused to go under everyday tests. Biting doctors, struggling, even trying to hit them. They talked about it a lot.  The only way how to make him calm down were probably sedatives. But the look from his eyes never disappeared, even though he didn't have the other choice just to calm down under the effects of drugs.  
His aggressive behavior didn't stop with doctors. Soon, victims could be found also between the children. Sometimes only bruises, on the other time broken limbs. They started to run away when they spot him. No one wanted to be near him, share a room with him. Everyone was afraid. But the most terrifying thing about it all was that it was happening in silence. No shrieking, no voices, no screaming and no apologize after- just cold and merciless silence, the cry of his victims and the wounds.  
All that remained after assaults.   
In the end, he remained alone - on his own, like now - but he didn't seem he wanted to change this situation.

I sighed and quickly looked away. I didn't want to bring his attention on myself. I wasn't afraid, no. I just knew better than that to alert everyone to my existence was the worst possible thing here if I didn't want to end up as another dead experiment. As ….  
_**"Don't let yourself to get hurt."**  
_ I sighed and shook my head, trying to erase an echo of the voice of 0952.  
For some reason doctors didn't seem like they wanted to get rid of red-haired troublemaker. Maybe because he was strong and they needed strong individuals to increase a possibility of succeeding in their surgeries or whatever they did behind the closed doors. Or maybe even they were afraid of him. Who could know the truth?  
Anyway, getting into fight with him would lead just to me being noticed and soon I would be the one to be gotten rid of – same as other victims of boy that were disappearing one by one.  
I looked up and sighed, leaving the dining hall.  
  
_I just had to play by my rules and I won’t get hurt._

 

_******* _

  
  
It all happened few months later.  
I was walking down the passage, trying to find a nice calm place to read. Everything was perfectly pure white with smell of sterility and hospital always present. There were no windows of course – lab rats didn’t need to know the shining world behind these walls, the world of Platinum Jail– their life was here and they weren’t going to leave anytime soon.  
It wasn’t hard to notice the color of red staining whiteness nor the yelps of two other children, when the electric doors in front of me opened.  
I looked at the scene before my eyes. Redhead was holding a collar of one boy and tightening it, boy gasping for air and struggling. The other one was sitting down on the floor, holding his ankle that was probably twisted and sobbing. They didn’t seem to notice the sound of opening doors.  
Boy in red-haired’s grasp struggled again, crying out as he was hit against wall. He grabbed others wrist, trying to get away from suffocating and with other hand, he strikes for redhead’s face, somehow managed to grab a bandage around his eye and jerk with that. Redhead let go of him – one would expect a hiss or yelp but he was completely silent. He reached up to touch a place above his eye. I could imagine his usual look in eyes, this time with a touch of ferocity that was unreplaceable part of nature of wild animal boy resembled so much. He punched a boy and threw him to my direction (as I stepped back slightly), lifting his leg as if to crush the bug. Other boy cried out but the blow didn’t come.  
  
I looked at red-haired boy. What was my surprise when he was looking back at me, not minding his  
‘prey’ anymore. He put leg down, staying completely still, mapping my face – same as lion before it strikes and breaks a neck of another being.  
As soon as two other children noticed that he ignores them and shifted his attention to me they somehow managed to stand up, helping each other and quickly stumbling next to me, getting away from possible danger.  
Their footsteps soon faded but he didn’t move an inch. I sighed and was about to turn away and leave also, when he took step forward, his eyes never leaving my face. That predatory look was replaced by strange interest that was glittering behind those hazel eyes. I frowned and my gaze hardened, instead of turning away, I turned to him and stepped closer, many of thoughts crossing my mind. Was this a stupid step? _It doesn’t matter now._ I wasn’t stepping back. No one could reach to me, no one could hurt me.  
  
_You are no exception._  
_  
I’m not afraid of you.  
  
You **WON’T** beat me. You **WON’T** touch me.  
  
I’m the one in charge here.  
  
I’m going to survive.  
  
_ And suddenly, something changed. Boy was still looking at me with interest that now changed to slight surprise and… was it a glimpse of fascination? Respect? He blinked few times and stepped back slightly, turning on his heel and then slowly walking away, his hands tucked in his pockets. No words, everything happened in his preferred perfect silence, as always.  
I didn’t know how long it’s taken for him to disappear from my sight, behind door on the other end of the passage, leaving me alone – only with a strange satisfaction of winning, controlling someone.  
  
I didn’t know that ‘alone’ part was going to change soon…  
  
**_To be continued…_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you very much for reading the third chapter of ‘Remember the yesterday’. I hope you’ve enjoyed this at least a little!  
> It’s been a long time since I updated, hasn’t it?  
> To be honest, I quite forgot about this story since I’m not really that much into active DRAMAtical Murder fandom anymore; even though Virus and Trip (and some other characters) are my ‘always-favorite’ as you would say and I still like the story of this visual novel/anime/manga a lot.  
> Anyway, I was going through my older stories and found this one, re-reading the actual two chapters I wrote. I have to admit, I immediately started to search my PC folders for concept of another chapters. Yay! With some luck I found it (and it really was a luck, considering the fact I deleted almost everything I had in my notebook while cleaning the disc. xD) and finally finished the third chapter.  
> I even decided to actually write down the whole thing since - when I’m looking at my others stories - this is still probably the best thing I’ve ever written so far (I don’t know if I should be sad or happy about it… *sigh*).  
> Considering updating – it’s difficult to say when there will be next chapters. This year is going to be difficult in the school and my life so I won’t have that much time. Another thing is that there are also other stories (older & new) for different fandoms I really want to finish (or start writing – I’m horrible person). Anyway, I’ll try my best to update as soon as it will be possible. If you have questions/notes/anything about this (or maybe another) story, you can contact/ask me on my tumblr:  
> http://aryssiamatsuri.tumblr.com  
> Oh. Wow. What a note. It’s almost as long as the chapter. Oh well.  
> Thank you everyone again – for nice comments, for staying with this story, for reading it or looking forward to next chapters. I really appreciate it, everything!  
> I hope to see you soon!  
> -Kircheis
> 
> P.S.: I’m really sorry for all the mistakes/weird grammar-spelling things here – they are mine alone– I’m not a native speaker and unfortunately I don’t have BETA. Thank you for understanding.


End file.
